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addicted to prozac?

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(1 heart broken | use it.)

[21 Mar 2003|11:34pm]
[ mood | blah ]

i have a new journal...it's easilytorn
yup.

(5 hearts broken | use it.)

[02 Sep 2002|12:20pm]
[ mood | surprised ]

Apparently people take things too personally. I never did anything to you, fuck off. If you have a problem, don't be fake and sugar coated to me all the time.
I don't know if Emily ever reads this, but I guess you were talking about Jackie since I wasn't there, I don't know. But I think she said that because we used to be good friends and then we weren't and it's too bad.

They have this RACC dual-enrollment program at Exeter which I didn't know about, but with it I'll end up have 14 or 18 credits before I graduate which would be really good so I don't have to take so many classes.
I think Mrs. Hahn is too absent minded to front the Free Tibet thing. But who else would want to?

( use it.)

Fuck. You. [30 Aug 2002|10:46am]
[ mood | anxious ]

In Heaven.
You're mysterious, picky, and a bit aloof. Some people say you have a very cheery personality, but it's hard to say because you mask your emotions behind dark pretenses. You enjoy watching obscure movies and going to plays, but by the end of the day you're usually too wound-up by the ironies of your life to relax.
Which Pixies song are you?

( use it.)

Can't Touch This! [24 Aug 2002|05:16pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I'm home for a little while dad shoots his gun. We visited my grandmother today and she seems ok for what kind of state she's in. I don't think it'll be very much longer til she's gone though.

I was reading people journals and it's great how people go "name-dropping" like 'oh I hung out with the Hanson brothers' or something like that. Like your friends and acquaintances make you who you are. Sobe.

The insurance guy called me today and I need to get this paper signed from Mom and send it back so I can start paying $120 a month! Dad cashed my bonds today so I'm carrying around about $1,500 in cash to pay Spangler for my car which I'm hoping to get Monday. It's be really nice to get it before Tuesday, but no, Mom had to wait like a little bitch and not call the insurance guy. That way I can keep filling her gas tank.

Well it looks like a storm..Finally some rain!..Adioa!

(1 heart broken | use it.)

$2 Joint [20 Aug 2002|12:29am]
[ mood | mellow ]

The show on Friday was good. Especially since it was five dollars. I worked a lot this weekend and I work every day this week. It sucks, but Matt decided not to go back to work so at least I'll get to hang out with him during the day for a couple more days before he goes back to college. I know I'm going to miss him so much it won't even be funny. Kevin, Steph, Jon, Simon, and Matt came over tonight and we played games, smoked, and baked. Pretty fun actually. Matt and I were "pretend fighting" and he grabbed my legs and I fell and hit my head really hard on the floor and computer chair. So now my head's all swollen and I look like a victim of abuse. Nothing else really happened....School's starting soon and I think it'll be OK. I just know that it's a sign of Matt leaving and that kills me.

(3 hearts broken | use it.)

i like this picture of mark. [12 Aug 2002|12:21am]
[ mood | tired ]



i took a nap after work..and did nothing til now. some guy "tricked" me into kissing him, weirdo. Jess and I are playing with barbies. I'm eating veggie stix

(2 hearts broken | use it.)

You know I'm going to pass out tomorrow. [11 Aug 2002|03:13am]
[ mood | drained ]

I can't fall asleep...too sick..
Warped Tour was *really* fun. I got pretty close pictures of the eyeliners and their t-shirt and cd and they signed my cd. Which made me really happy since they're the main reason I wanted to go. We got kinda lost on the way down there because Jeremiah & Co. left without us and Matt wouldn't take my directions. We were all hungry and thirsty all day though because everything was a million dollars...Then on the way home the van died right before the exit off 76 to 422 underneath a bridge in the left lane. It just stoppped and wouldn't start. No warning, no nothing. So Matt's freaking out thinking we're going to get rear-ended so Adam and I got out and stood a couple yards behind the car to tell people to move while Ian put it in neutral and we started pushing it out from under the bridge. A cop came, blocked traffic so we could get it across the lanes to the ONLY pull-off on the entire road. They've been doing construction there for as long as I can remember. The cop gave all 7 of us a ride to the movie theater over there because it was the only thing open at what was now 10 at night. Matt's parents came at 11:30, I slept the entire way home, went to Matt's, came home at 1:30 and passed out on my bed. It was pretty awful. All I want is sleep and I can't have it!

( use it.)

God, I hate you. [09 Aug 2002|03:52am]
[ mood | irate ]

So I slept for about..3 hours.
The pain in my mouth is really unbareable.
I can't do anything about it tomorrow because of Warped Tour, and I know if I said something to Mom about it now she's be pissed, and I don't think they can do anything about it in the ER. I just hope this is the worst it's going to get. I don't understand what's going on. So I'll just download songs and be the first one up tomorrow...today?

( use it.)

[07 Aug 2002|05:11pm]

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

Matt's really gay.

( use it.)

[07 Aug 2002|05:11pm]

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

Matt's really gay.

( use it.)

Got my finger on the trigger, but you're in the way. [07 Aug 2002|10:23am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Wow, i got up at 9 this morning. Couldn't sleep. Choked on asprin because my tonsils are so swollen, and it came out my nose. hehe.
i'm actually being productive and burning cds i've been meaning to burn for weeks..dyed my hair last night too which i think turned out alright; it's getting pretty long. oh and i don't think we're taking the ferry(Ms. Ree--don't know your real name, haha) If parking is only $20 at the deal, then it's cheaper for everyone to pitch in.
bah, work today like always. and i have to get my goddamn camera fixed...
<3

PS. -- Manda you could steal a bunch of those free aol for a month cds and just keep changing your screename ;) and is juno still free?

( use it.)

Crazy. [05 Aug 2002|01:53pm]
[ mood | crazy ]










School's going to start soon. And it's going to suck, just as it has continually sucked every year. The concert was pretty cool on Thursday, got Sugarcult's autographs. I think the best park was being parked in traffic for an hour at midnight. Simple amusements are great. Tara's party was also fun. Maybe someday boys will pick friends over video games? I wish I could have stayed longer, I never see any of those kids anymore. Warped Tour should also prove to be fun. We're taking two vans down with like..14 people. And taking the ferry! Almost 60 bands..all day..I hope it doesn't rain.. And then there's the pig roast at my dad's which is cool because my grandmother is going to be there and I haven't seen her in a while because she's been in rehab/hospital. Not much else to say really..At least life is beginning to get a little exciting..

(2 hearts broken | use it.)

[31 Jul 2002|11:21pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Ahh so I got my root canal today and almost passed out. I hate being afraid of needles. I don't even want to be afraid, but my body like, takes over. I've been with Jon and Kevin a lot this past week...Tomorrow I'm seeing LTJ, Sugarcult, and The Pietasters with Jackie...Warped Tour and the pig roast is soon..Tomorrow I think I'm finally going to get my license picture taken. There's also some meeting at Giant I have to go to "to prevent shrink". I think the TV's broke because I ordered Harry Potter and nothing came on..Yeah I thought I had things to say..but obviously not.

(1 heart broken | use it.)

She Breaks For Rainbows... [26 Jul 2002|02:07am]
[ mood | exanimate ]

Well today was pretty fun.
We made brownies and drinks.
Jackie and I actually talked and hung out.
We shaving creamed Matt's van and he got really pissed.
I think that I'm obsessive about over analyzing things. I really wish I could just let it rest and stop thinking that there's a second thought behind everything. But I can't. I have these weird standards that I have to live up to or I'm not me. It doesn't matter if they're unattainable, that's the point to having goals.

Meanwhile, I'm getting sick. I feel like crap. Maybe I make myself this way. I always get physically ill when I'm all moody.
Stupid me.

(3 hearts broken | use it.)

[22 Jul 2002|11:29am]
[ mood | hungry ]

Well I'm back from vacation.
- I got sun burned, bug bites, cuts.
- Saw Dan Marino, where "O" and "The Patriot" were filmed.
- I missed everyone so much it wasn't even funny.

I don't really get the Ramen journal wars..but whatever. College kids LIVE off of Ramen so fuck your idea of it being for poor people with no motivation or future. And I enjoy Ramen.
I was talking to Jess online last night about how people always say stuff like " Oh we have to smoke together sometimes " and I can count the names of people who said that on my right hand. or " Oh we have to drink together then ". Oh well that stuff just pisses me off.
Everytime I come back from vacation I always say to myself..ya know you should keep the house cleaner and study for school and work on art more and think about college but I never do and I think this year I will. All my relatives ( minus my invalid grandmother who's dying in some institution ) ask about my future and college and stuff and I hate not knowing. So far...Art Direction at Kutztown. Ah but you don't want to hear about that...<3

( use it.)

i got bored last night.. [09 Jul 2002|12:39pm]
[ mood | blank ]

i'm leaving on friday for south carolina..it's going to suck being down there for a week with no one my age..everyone is either a little kid or a grandpa..




off to work..

(2 hearts broken | use it.)

[08 Jul 2002|11:05am]
[ mood | guilty ]

Yesterday was defintely the worst day of work I've ever had.
Not only am I being written up for being $10.00 short, but last night a black man decided to steal $50 for my drawer. He bought a bag of chips with a 50 and kept like exchanging the money with me and confusing me and ended up getting $50. So I told the CC, Missy, and I was crying and stuff. I went up with the manager, Jeff, to the security room to look for the guy on the tapes who apparently walked past my register a couple times first "sizing me up". Then I had to talk to this police officer, but it's not like they're ever going to find him. I feel like such and idiot. I should have been able to follow him and like understand what was going on. I'm so fucking stupid. I don't know what's going to happen now or anything, but I didn't go back on register last night.

I hate people.

(2 hearts broken | use it.)

I'm a bored little girl. [07 Jul 2002|02:45am]
[ mood | pleased ]

[ Current Mood ] tired
[ Current Music ] rock lobster
[ Current Taste ] iced tea lemonade
[ Current Make-up ] none
[ Current Hair ] up in a ponytail
[ Current Annoyance ] not making conversation
[ Current Smell ] smoke
[ Current thing I ought to be doing ] sleeping
[ Current Desktop Picture ] a huge picture of matt making a funny face ;)
[ Current Favorite Artist ] Michelle Branch
[ Current Favorite Group ] Goldfinger
[ Current Book you're reading] I just finished Choke
[ Current CD in CD Player] Incubus---S.C.I.E.N.C.E.
[ Current DVD in player] Office Space
[ Current Color Of Toenails ] Opaque shiney color..
[ Current Refreshment ] Iced tea lemonade
[ Current Worry ] Am I going to be suspended from work?

LAST PERSON...
[ You Touched ] Matt
[ You Talked to ] Mom
[ You Hugged ] Matt
[ You Instant messaged ] Matty n Christ
[ You Yelled At ] Matt
[ You Bit ] Matt

FAVORITE...
[ Food ] Chicken whopper jr!!
[ Drink ] Aqua con limon.
[ Color ] light pink
[ Album ] No Doubt the orange one
[ Shoes ] my sandals with the gems
[ Animal ] molly, or ally
[ TV Show ] Mad TV or CSI
[ Movie ] dunno..lots and lots
[ Dance ] ???
[ Song ] On My Own fro Les Mis
[ Vegetable ] Corn? Peppers?
[ Fruit ] Apricots
[ Cartoon ] The Simpsons

ARE YOU...
[ Understanding ] sometimes
[ Open-minded ] yes.
[ Arrogant ] i hope not.
[ Insecure ] very.
[ Interesting ] wouldn't want to be normal.
[ Random ] yea.
[ Hungry ] nope.
[ Friendly ] i try.
[ Smart ] i want to be.
[ Moody ] it's worse than PMS.
[ Childish ] like a kid in a candy store.
[ Independent ] defintely not co-dependant.
[ Hard working ] giant doesn't believe in child labor laws
[ Organized ] in everything but my room.
[ Healthy ] no.
[ Emotionally Stable ] not at all.
[ Shy ] hehe..sometimes.
[ Difficult ] probably.
[ Attractive ] not really.
[ Bored Easily ] short attention span.
[ Messy ] naahhh.
[ Thirsty ] yes actually.
[ Responsible ] for the worlds troubles.
[ Obsessed ] do everything perfectly.
[ Angry ] anger problems.
[ Sad ] not anymore.
[ Happy ] when i'm not in pain.
[ Hyper ] not right now.
[ Trusting ] is very hard for me.
[ Talkative ] yea i guess.
[ Legal ] to drive.
[ Original ] i hope i do something original.
[ Different ] everyone's "special".
[ Unique ] everyone's "unique".
[ Ignored ] by people who receive the same.
[ Reliable ] depends on what you're asking for.
[ Optimistic ] i try to be, but it doesn't really work.
[ Deep thinker ] maybe over my head.
[ Self-disciplined ] everything has to balance out of course.
[ Sleepy ] i love to sleep.
[ Lonely ] this secong yes, not in general though.

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
[ Kill ] i don't think i'd enjoy jail.
[ Slap ] Val Burnish. Fucking bitch.
[ Get Really Wasted With ] Matt
[ Get High With ] Matt, but he won't
[ Tickle ] Matt
[ Look Like ] Halle Berry..she's really pretty.
[ Talk To Offline ] Jackie
[ Talk To Online ] Jess
[ Did you Enjoy this gay quiz ] Yea, I was bored.


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hehe so...we got real fireworks last night and set em off and they landed on matt's neighbor's roof. oops. i got my license today! woohoo!! i wanted to go community days tonight but my cell died at matt's house and i don't know how to get there and it sucked a lot...so i got home and plugged it in and there were 10,000 messages and i don't know where jackie is but it's 3:00 am now and she's still not here ;*(

( use it.)

[04 Jul 2002|10:43pm]
[ mood | angry ]

ahh i hate assholes. the truck guy across the street was like bitching at us for setting off fireworks ( legal mind you ) and hes like " theyre landing on the vehicles " and then him n his bitch son n girlfriend came outside and inspected the cars and he's like " do you want to wash my truck? " and matt's like " no ". and i was like " mom go bitch at him ". so she goes " back it up and i'll wash it off " and he's like " no forget it. you just can't set them off so close " and she's like " thats why we set em off over there " and he goes " well they landed over here. you have to think sometimes ". god. that really bothers me. why do people have to be like that? his truck is his fucking life. his wife is a nice person too.

anyway..mouth's still swollen..3 stitches fell out
i work every day like 8 hours and it blows.
yeah not much else has been happening..life was so much better at our old house.

( use it.)

you never miss chewing until it [01 Jul 2002|11:59am]
[ mood | sore ]

apparently it's ok for dr. shelkun to stitch my cheek to my jaw.
my mouth hurts a hell of a lot and i'm just hoping that the stitches fall out soon. not like it matters cuz then i have to go get a root canal before i get off the antibiotics so they don't have to wick the tooth.
i got a blizzard last night and couldn't even eat it. i can't chew, and my stomach holds like a cup of food. ah i feel like a retard, i'd give anything to eat real food. i'm taking penicillin, vicodin, and molydexa-something for swelling which is gone. i work a 30 hours week this week which means...dun dun dun i have to reshedule my driving test! woohoo!
ahh and the best was last night when we tried hooking up the nintendo while joe and adam " put the bikes away " and i found pictures of matt and his girlfriends. niicee. i saw pictures of zakk in his year book though ;) with what looks like a clip-on tie. matt's mom got real drunk saturday night and told matt 10 millions times that i was smart or something.
crazy drunk christian lady.
stolen from matty & xianCollapse )

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